…Perfection is a disease of a nation. Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst. We try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see. It’s the soul that need the surgery…”

Pretty Hurts ~ Beyoncé

 

The pain I endured when I didn’t love myself was unbearable because there wasn’t a pill or procedure that could take the pain away. It didn’t help that I felt as if I had to keep my pain a secret because society believed that this type of pain was all in a person’s head – something people made up for sympathy. Then there’s the myth that if you’re intelligent, attractive or wealthy etc. you shouldn’t have any problems. The combination of social biases and the “happiness myth” all but forced me to suffer my pain in silence. My silence kept me in a state of depression, despair and almost to the brink of suicide.

I hid my pain by wearing masks. I hid my insecurities by wearing the mask of confidence. I faked my happiness by wearing the mask of a smile. And I concealed my internal conflict by wearing the mask of a Superwoman – a woman who had it all together. IP information Unfortunately the masks only helped to hide my pain externally, my internal struggle was fought only through therapy, self-exploration and my spiritual beliefs.

The pain is within and cannot be swept or wished away. It’s usually the result of events, words and/or actions of loved ones either in our distant or recent past that have us believe we are NOT ENOUGH – not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough.

I speak from experience when I say “the pain is real”. And although crippling at times, it doesn’t have to last forever. The first step to healing is recognizing it; saying to yourself “I suffer from low self-esteem”. Now that you recognize it, you MUST be willing to do the work – taking the steps to uncover the people and/or event(s) that caused you to believe you aren’t enough. Once you UNDERSTAND where the “sticking thinking” came from then you MUST go through the process of forgiveness (yourself and others), renewing your mind (removing the negative beliefs with positive truths) and rebuilding yourself to become the person (the King or Queen) God intended you to be.

Going through this process was a matter of life or death for me and now I can honestly say “I WAKE UP FLAWLESS”.

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