It is said that you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. I used to think this was something adults told children to ensure they didn’t associate with the wrong crowd. However as I continue along my journey I’ve adopted this mantra as one of my 10 secrets to success.


Over the past ten years my circle has changed. Some friends have come and gone, and others are now playing a different role in my life. There was a time when I resisted this type of change, believing ALL friendships were supposed to be for a lifetime. This notion was in part manifested by my unwavering loyalty and my long time battle with low self-esteem (read my book The Stranger Within: One Woman’s Journey to Self-Love to learn more about my long time battle). Fortunately, I now realize that my success (as I personally define it) is contingent upon who I allow in my “circle”, and thus my mindset around friendships has been redefined.


Some people are in my life for a season while others are in my life for a reason and it is up to me to discern which purpose each person plays in my life. In doing so I’ve been blessed with a “circle” that has helped me grow both personally and professionally. No longer am I the smartest one in the group – we all have our strengths and nuances which we use to complement one another. They continue to give me the support and the strength I need to endure the trials and tribulations of life. And it is because of my “circle” that I am able to continue along my life’s journey with peace; knowing that I am not alone.
I’m not suggesting that you dismiss all of your friends in search of a new “circle”. However I do suggest that you start taking inventory of who you currently have in your circle, and for those who don’t add value to your life, are consistently bringing you down, or are always negative, you may want to consider reducing your involvement with them. We all have a purpose and I believe your “circle” should provide you with the emotional, spiritual and mental tools you need to live a purpose filled life. Are there some people you’ve allowed on the front row of your life who need to sit in the balcony and watch from afar? So again I ask you “who is in your circle?”
Coaching Moment: make a list of everyone in your circle, for each one write down 5 to 7 positive things about them (be honest). For any person you find yourself having trouble coming up with at least 5 things then I want you to think long and hard about the role they should play in your life, front row or the balcony.

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